Tuesday, March 24, 2009

before and after

why in the hell i'm going to write about todays first topic is beyond me. it's a slow night. so you all know who Dora the Explorer is right? well, apparently she's getting a makeover [ok technically she's "growing up", whatever]. i first found out about this a few weeks ago when i came across a story wherein they had the following silhouette of the new Dora --->

now my whole reason for writing about this is because soccer moms round the nation freaked out and crashed their damn minivans over how sexual this image was... all together now:


i find it hilarious that anyone would find this sexual in any way. I mean what is it? the hair? the dress? what is this, the 1600's? let damn Dora wear a damn dress. it's better than if they had shown her in an outline of skanky all up in your ass short shorts and a sports bra which you know you've all seen in real life. don't even. anyway, the fire was put out [or at least it should be out, you know how crazy soccer moms are] when the full picture was revealed:
[how skanky, i know]

this sort of reminds me of the time i lost 100 pounds and decided to pose in a magazine to show off my new body:
[yeah, JUST like that]

so aside from dora sexing herself up, it's been a really slow day today. like, the kind where you realize that sleeping all day might sound good but it's really intensely boring. i was talking to Jas earlier and the subject of Selena came up [how the hell?]. anyway, i was telling her about her birthday coming up and we started watching old Selena videos. a lot of you might not know how much of a Selena fan i actually am (it comes pre-packaged with the latin blood]. i know. i wasn't even sure anyone knew who she was and then the fucking train hit me, Jennifer Lopez totally made a movie about selena. duh. it's practically how J-Lo got famous. anyway, i still remember sitting on the floor with my cousin and sister and hearing about her death. for those of you who dont know, her death was a BIG DEAL in the latin community. like, princess d big. so we sat there the whole day and just listened in sadness. she was just 23. my age. mega sadness.

and finally, today's music video comes from The Presets latest album 'Apocalypso'. it's surprisingly slower than their usual stuff and my favorite track of theirs. they definitely need to do more of this:

oh and by the way, don't even, i'm back to my normal self:

[P.S. - yes, that whole dora shit was just so i could post that picture of me with the hot body. suck it.]


Hanne said...

You're sexier than Dora.
I think all of the soccer mums reading this blog will start a riot!

(Also my verification word is 'flophop', how amazing is that?)

Jase said...

I had heard about Dora "growing up" with the children who watched her and I have to say her older self is cute and not a big deal at all.

Also, I remember when I used to be on the Top 100 Maxim list and then I found the Internet ;)

Selena, Aaliyah forever <3

billilovesmargot said...

you made that picture?!? ...put me to fooking shame! *puts away his crayons and photoshop.