Thursday, May 1, 2008

Manly

Picture this: you're on your bed, the only light coming from the computer screen where you just so happen to be watching a movie. A movie about a vagina with teeth. There you are minding your own business when a nasty mega moth comes straight at your face. Now, of course you're deathly afraid of these vile creatures so you gasp, you gasp HARD, you gasp so hard you literally think you swallowed the moth. Thing is, by the time you've jumped out of your bed and cheetah your way to turn on the lights, the beast from hell has mysteriously disappeared. You find yourself puzzled as to where in your small bedroom it is stalking you from.

You decide it must be in between your 6 pillows or 2 blankets. One by one you manage to flip the pillows/blankets, each one bringing you unspoken fear knowing that soon you will flip the damn one where the moth is resting, waiting to suck upon your sweet, sweet blood. By this time of course, your only source of protection lies within the now curled up 2003 Disneyland graduation night souvenir photograph of you and your friends on Splash Mountain. You reach the last pillow, slowly you begin to turn it while at the same time calculating how this will go down: the moth will fly at you with its fangs and you will swat it at the exact same time as you're running/covering your eyes from it and ducking for sweet life. Finally, you decide to confront this venomous beast with one hard thrust of the pillow, thing is, it's already gone.

You think back at the moment when this unholy spawn of Satan lunged at you in the cool of the night and slowly begin to wonder if there was a moth at all. Surely the moth could not find a good hiding spot in your generically clean room. Right? So you decide you will calm yourself down by writing a blog entry instead of returning to your comfy bed. Afterall, you just never know.

UPDATE: moth is injured and under the bed. welcome back insomnia.

5 comments:

billilovesmargot says... said...

i knew you could do it ben. lol

Jase said...

6 pillows, you're a king!
and I don't blame the moth for wanting to be near you.

Claudia said...

omg that's scary!

Ally said...

oh my!..

Kiwi said...

I almost feel guilty for having a laugh attack while reading about your pain. But yay!! You survived. I'm so proud :D