Wednesday, April 28, 2010

RuPauls Drag Race: The Tyra Effect.

you've all had proper time to catch up on my favorite reality show of the season, RuPauls Drag Race! last monday night a new drag queen superstar was crowned and rupaul delivered her audience the biggest bitch slap since my birth in 85.

to quote a friend of mine during the wedding episode "if Tyra Sanchez wins i will take a dump on RuPauls chest". well my dear friend, grab some plane tickets to wherever the hell RuPaul is and bring your favorite brand name laxative because...

Tyra Sanchez won. there WILL be blood (gag).

my reaction.

inspired by the book challenge a couple of episodes ago i have the title of my book, inspired by this dumbfuckery of this choice:

i'm not mad, i'm just obsessively bitter.

i guess I should have seen this coming but I didn't want to believe it. i do give Tyra props for always bringing it on the runway though, even if i didn't necessarily connect to her personality. PAUSE THE BLOG. i'm just realizing that i actually took the time to photoshop that book cover together. hm. anyway, this season will always be remembered as the season of Tyra. from RuPauls obvious favoring of Tyra Sanchez to plugging every single product she has out at the moment (just like the other Tyra on Top Model), this was just inevitable. anyway, Tyra won, poop sandwich, let's move on to the real stars in order of who i thought should have won.

[dark glam pussy monster]

for the most part, the internet is taking a step back and still trying to figure out how this glamazon didn't win. Raven was this years bitch but everything she said was TRUE. she also had style and stage presence to spare. years from now, RuPaul will be on her deathbed getting injected with everlasting life goo and she will realize this dumb mistake.

[asian sexx bombshell]

Jujubee will always have a place in my heart. she was definitely the most genuine of the girls in the final 3. she was also one hell of a wit machine. the only thing keeping her down is her wardrobe... a little more classic glam and she'll be a superstar.

Pandora Boxx
[blonde, fun and gorgeous]

my friends and i agree that the overall star of the show was Pandora Boxx. she stole this season as the head bitch in charge of fun and laughter. even when she was eliminated it was on the basis of NOTHING. literally. there was no reason to send her home. she was just not what those asshole judges wanted.

friends, let us rejoice for my picks. for it shall be they who take over the world. it is they who will be remembered forever. it is they that shall appear in RuPauls Drag U this summer and keep my friends and i from having fun outdoors. yuss yuss yuss!!! until next season when i will inevitably get to bitch about the winner... for now, let's dance.