Thursday, December 3, 2009

ellen degeneres vs ben robot part 2

Hey guys! i don't even have words for the shit that went down yesterday, it was orgasmic. So I went to pick my friend Ella up yesterday and immediately found out she wasn't feeling 100 percent but was up for going with me to see if we could get into the Ellen Degeneres show. We arrived at around 9 a.m. and thought we were the first ones there (more on this later). The man in charge politely asked us to sit down and wait for a man that was going to be arriving at 10 a.m. to distribute ticket numbers. Ella and I sat down and briefly chatted with this other woman that came after us about the ticket getting process and how excited we were to hopefully get into the Ellen audience. I think there was a moment where that other woman looked at me with eyes that read "DIE IF YOU GET IN AND WE DON'T!", but she was really nice and even wished us luck. So the man arrives to give us standby numbers and we ended up with 263 and 264. It didn't hit me right away just how big the number was or how it related to the audience, I assumed we were the first standby people. Anyway, they gave us until 4 p.m. to get back so we ended up taking a walk around the city and taking cell phone pics (I normally would be my own paparazzi but since they don't allow cameras I didn't have it with me at the time).

We ended up going back to Ella's place to watch Twilight and take a slight nap. Um, you guys, I actually kind of liked it! Like seriously. Except that I didn't like how Taylor Lautner acted... he was so... well... he was so valley like omg! and he also smiles a lot which is something that annoyed me. Other than that I'd say the movie was pretty decent. Anyway, we also decided to walk around some more and hit up the fanciest McDonalds (i know, i had a pregnancy craving ok?!). As we went back to her place I noticed how much I love Los Angeles, it's the greatest ever, I hope to live there one day.

So we headed back to the audience holding area at Gate 3 next to the Warner Bros lot. By the time we got there it was CROWDED but not overcrowded, they had everything really organized and everyone was nice. They had us watch that days Ellen episode without the commercials and then a collection of monologues that I guess are on sale on dvd and fill out these surveys. We were there for what felt like a couple of hours and then they started calling in people starting at #1. That's when my stomach fucking twisted and I got that pre-diarrhea feeling, remember how I thought we were the first ones? It hit me that #263 & #264 could be waaaaaaaaay last. After they finally got to #250 they told the rest of us that we were the standby ticket holders. At that point I was so convinced I wasn't getting in that I was at peace with it. And then they had the standbys line up. Moment of truth!

We were told to line up, form a single line and were led to the inside of Ellen's actual studio. As soon as you walk in and as soon as you get past security, you see this long hallway where pictures of Ellen with past guests line the walls (everyone from Madonna to Tom Cruise to Paris Hilton were there). They had us then line up to walk into THE MOTHERFUCKING RIFF RAFF ROOM! At that point I was ready to sit down and enjoy the show and choose dates for another day (those that don't get into the actual audience are given guaranteed seats for another day). The line we were in extended all the way into the stairs leading up to the audience and I was sure they were fucking with me at that point. I was sure that as we got closer and closer to the audience area that my chances of getting in were getting slimmer and slimmer. Then just like that, shit got real... we were in the fucking audience area!!!

The show was a motherfucking blur. I was all the way in the back row (that's how close i came to ending up in the riff raff room!) I danced so much I worked up a sweat. So if you happen to see me on t.v. (i'm acting like i'm not recording the show tomorrow and that i'm not going to have pictures of me in the audience taken from my t.v. on here tmrw) i'll be the pig in the back screaming like an asshole and looking like i just took a shower and had no time to dry up. Ellen is gorgeous and so naturally funny. She had Tobey Maguire (who was just as quiet in person as he seems in movies) and Minnie Driver on (Minnie Driver has a SMOKING body, I never noticed). That reminds me, when we were going back into the audience waiting area we drove by Justin Chatwin walking into the Warner Bros lot. On to the single greatest moment of 2009 for me!

Ellen was having this segment where she was shaving off some hair from one of her staff members and the audience was all into it when all of a sudden we hear these loud bells. That only meant one thing, 12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS WAS STARTING!!! Ellen promptly jumped out of her seat and out came these giant gift boxes. The crowd as you expect (and especially me) was going APE SHIT over this. Ellen proceeded to give the entire audience a Tossimo Automatic Hot Beverage System, a $200 staples card, a $250 cost plus card, an xbox with game! AND A WII!!! also with a game!!! I was going bananas guys, I sincerely hope I come out on t.v. losing my shit because I SWEAR i went beyond Oprah audience members when Ellen was rolling out the goods. And if that wasn't enough, Ellen then comes back from a commercial break and gives us a $400 Target card! OH. MY. FUCKING. GAWD. I'm still losing it guys. Best. Christmas. EVER!


JC said...

OMFG BEN!! when I come visit you we're going to ellen, I don't care how amny people i have to sleep with.

ben robot said...

@JC haha count me in for that! :)