the biggest penis in the world.

the title is misleading for no reason at all. hi guys! now that i have your attention i'd like to start todays blog with this picture! and before you guys start noticing, yes that is the new sweater i'm going to wear for like a year non-stop. yes you're going to assume i don't wash it and others are going to assume i don't have any other clothes (which is true). um, that's it. i really have nowhere to go with today's blog.

oh, i signed up for those classes today and i'm ready to begin attending school on Jan 4. fuck to the yeah! if all goes according to plan, i will have a good job by may. that's totally fine by me because as i get older i'm not exactly looking forward to working at the local starbucks anymore (not that i work there right now). when i got there i assumed the orientation would be in the room i was told it was going to be in. suddenly 2 p.m. came by (the start time) and no one was there. so i walked to the main office to ask where the orientation was being held because i was sitting out there in the cold with a big L stamped on my forehead. the kind lady told me that the orientation was right across the room i was previously at (it dawned at me that had i turned around i would have noticed a big 'ORIENTATION HERE' sign). needless to say i felt like this:

what a blockhead! + <3 = that is all for today.

DISS/cuss.

• did the kids from Glee hit a high or low note on it's winter finale last night? [omgspoilersomg]
• ew, someone call sunshine cleaning - the 15 most gruesome ways to die on Fringe [/stomachrumbles]
• how many of you would have guessed i am a huge sandra bullock fan? [um, the net. that is all.]
• Karen O just sucker punched Miley Cyrus - and took her grammy nom!!! [no sluts allowed]
• i swear to god there better be one good fucking god damned reason why the Pee-Wee movie isn't happening like RIGHT NOW!!! [i will cut a bitch and shank her cousin]
• You know how i love lists right? And you know how I love posting them here? Well here's the official end of that [yeah fucking right]: The Top 20 Internet Lists of 2009!!!
• RELAPSE!!! Spins Top 20 Songs of 2009!!! [it didn't even last one bullet point, sigh]
• Barbara Walters has an orgy with Adam Lambert & Lady Gaga [who came out on top?!]

With the image of Barbara Walters wrinkled [hold your tongue while saying this next word] purse fresh in my mind I thought I'd keep it real. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Dangerous Muse with 'The Rejection'!